


Maybe this trophy isn't real love (And with or without it I'm good enough)

by Coal_burningbright



Category: H.I.V.E. Series - Mark Walden
Genre: (you decide if it's one or the other or both), ADHD Shelby Trinity, Angst, Autistic Shelby Trinity, Backstory, Character Study, Gen, I mean, I wrote this so you can assume the relationship isn't great, Identity, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Neurodivergent Shelby Trinity, a lot of projecting, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29504940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coal_burningbright/pseuds/Coal_burningbright
Summary: Shelby Trinity and The Wraith were not the same person.And Shelby, well Shelby wasn't sure who she was.Or: Our girl compartmentalizes and needs a hug
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Maybe this trophy isn't real love (And with or without it I'm good enough)

**Author's Note:**

> This is best if while reading it you listen to Three by Sleeping At Last, I promise you will not regret :)
> 
> Tw for some stuff around food

Shelby Trinity’s parents enrolled her in pageants before she could walk.

Her earliest memory was of being at a birthday party at age three, her mother slapped a piece of cake out of her hand at a birthday party, “That’ll make you fat”

Shelby Trinity watched how people interacted and wrote scripts in her mind because people were confusing but she could pretend to understand them.

She had to pretend to understand them.

Her parents told her she needed to take a sport and she picked parkour.

It wasn’t what they had expected she would take but they had told her she could and so she did.

Shelby Trinity watched videos of people picking locks and practiced until she was perfect

_You cannot be anything other than perfect,_

When Shelby Trinity was ten years old The Wraith was born.

Shelby Trinity was not The Wraith.

The Wraith was strong and smart and fast, stealing from impenetrable vaults and beating anyone they came across.

Shelby Trinity wore poofy dresses and skin-tight dresses and fake smiles that looked real, winning competitions that were the only way her parents would love her and shrinking away from raised voices and raised fists, and from platters of food that would stop the gnawing at her ribs that she needs in order to be good enough.

The Wraith is talked about as the best.

And Shelby Trinity wears a mask she does not quite understand while she tries so hard to be perfect.

Shelby Trinity was good at not feeling sad or mad. She based her self-worth around what she had and what she wore and what she looked like.

The Wraith was good at freedom and at feeling the feelings that only surface when you’re hanging upside down in a dark shaft and no one can see you cry. 

Shelby Trinity had blond hair and blue eyes and a head full of air because that’s what it meant to be good enough.

The Wraith was a shadow and a legend and a ghost story.

Shelby Trinity and The Wraith were not the same person.

Shelby, Shelby didn’t know quite who she was.

She was not Shelby Trinity, Valley Girl. 

She was not The Wraith, Jewel Thief.

Shelby was made of masks and in the center of them, she hid The Wraith like a warm pair of gloves that she slipped on when it got too cold and she was in danger of losing herself entirely.

Shelby was brought to H.I.V.E. because of The Wraith, but she still had to be Shelby Trinity. 

Not being Shelby Trinity meant she was vulnerable and showing too much and decidedly _Not Safe_.

Shelby hides even in a place meant for The Wraith because it is a training place and The Wraith does not need training.

The Wraith is not Shelby Trinity. The Wraith is perfect.

And then Ms. Leon stips away the last thing she had to hold on to.

And Shelby goes cold.

And hot.

And then cold again.

These people want to play hardball? 

_Fine._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, please kudos or comment if you liked


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